A week ago I was able to start physio. This has been possibly the best breakthrough I have had to date.
I first met my physiotherapist when I first got back, and there was nothing he could do for me, as I had no strength to stand, let alone open the fridge door, turn on faucets, and barely lift the toilet seat lid.
I've gained some weight, I can function very very very basically on my own, just at home except for cooking, yet opening my front door is still a bit of a challenge. Once I leave the apartment, I need help with everything.
My PT started with some basic stretches, and he remarked at how flexible I still am, despite the pain. He started me on a plan, with reps and to progress and increase them. I exceeded this on the first day.
I have been doing these, with increasing reps - and adding resistance and including some core work - just abdominals so far. Every day, and part of my exercise is to bring my laptop to the living room, where I can do my physio on the couch.
Yesterday was my second visit, as he will be seeing me every week. He was again pleased with my progress, and with my ab work, and gave the okay to continue, I am attempting to increase this by 25 each day. He even said that I could gain 20 more pounds and be perfectly in range.
The other day, I noticed my hip popped out, not a dislocation, as I'd be screaming, no doubt, but it does hurt and my knees are out of alignment, starting from my hip. It is burning and sharp, but in comparison to my usual pain, it's nothing really. I have a twisted wrist, but that is from just trying to sit up in bed, not physio related.
My new section is to increase what I have, and including strengthening and adding core now, even for my back, but I can still do that lying prone, as I can't lie on my front at all still.
It is hard not to compare what I used to be able to do as a dancer, but if I think and compare from day to day, I am thrilled with how I am doing. It feels so good to move, and it is still limited, but I'm happy that I am able to lie down, pull one leg up, and my knee comes to my nose, like a reverse split. That is a different pain - and one that is welcome.
This is so exciting. I finally feel like I am accomplishing something real, even though to normal people it is probably nothing. I have something to look forward to everyday, and everyday I am feeling myself change.
I even can walk down my hallway without needing to hold on to the wall half the time. I still need all the aids from my Occupational Therapist in the apartment, and I still can't stand in the shower, or cook, but it's the little things, that are really most important now.
Yes I have lost so much of my life, and this is new life as I know it. And for this, I am thankful of the support and I am proud that I still have that drive that I used to.
Perhaps I really am still a fighter...