It is very hard when you are in so much riddling pain to know what is something new and to get used to or to get it checked out.
You know that my life as a ballerina causes alot of injuries for the sheer nature of the career.
I have sprained, broken, twisted, fractured many bones in my feet and legs, and somehow this week I woke up to not being able to walk. Again, but for different reasons.
My right side was out of commission, needing my chair in the apartment for the new pain. In my head I don't know if this needs to be looked at or if staying off it will work or at least help.
It feels like intense pain but with my entire leg doing a 180 turn on me with no warning, but I couldn't walk at all. Today is a smidge better but I still need help to walk and I can't use my chair on my own if I am sitting in it.
I refuse to sit in the ER for 8 hours when there is nothing tangible they can do, I am not in an emergency situation, it's just I can barely walk.
Oh yeah and I can't tolerate this layer of pain. I am like a a reverse onion, more layers and more layers to deal with but with no compromise.
There is no "hey buddy, I need to cause some hell, how bout you step off and take a break". It is another reminder that I am losing so much, and something else to get ready for, and try to get used to.
Please be gentle with your #chronicallyawesome friends, and we need support alot even though it's not always said from us.
Many diseases get the attention, however, still - lupus and fibro and RA etc don't get looked at all but it is so difficult to live with day to day.
Someone you love is sick but you can't see it.
Thank you for seeing it for me and for many of the people that are in my life and love.